


A Demon with a Human Heart

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [16]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Death, Confessions, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Secrets, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loyalty, M/M, Sacrifice, Secret Identity, Secrets, Team as Family, Trust, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Fairy Tail was losing. In desperation Natsu reveals the truth about who, or rather what he is to his mate, expecting to be hated. Instead Gray's response gives him the courage to unleash the monster in the hopes of ending the war, but not all secrets were revealed.





	A Demon with a Human Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Gratsu: Writer x Artist event on Tumblr. I was lucky enough to be partnered with Ferbooche, who did this amazing picture to accompany the story (http://ferbooche.tumblr.com/post/146613440708/story)

They were losing.

   That was the stark reality of the situation that they were facing Natsu realised as he glanced out across the guild hall, the entire room currently converted to a makeshift infirmary as the room upstairs was already overflowing both with their own guild members, but also their allies from the other guilds and innocent civilians who had been caught up in the mess. He didn’t think there was a single person left in the guild that hadn’t suffered some sort of injury, his eyes darting down to the bandages wrapped around his own torso before he lifted a hand to the scar on his cheek _. I got off lightly_. He knew that there were many who would disagree, especially with how close he had come to death already but looking around it was hard to convince himself of that fact.

_We’re losing…_

    They'd had lots of victories. Despite the seemingly overwhelming strength of the forces sent against them they had managed to turn the tables so many times, but not without cost. Erza was lucky to have survived, and there was anguish in her eyes whenever she talked to anyone that spoke of deeper pain. Chelia’s magic was gone, sacrificed to protect Wendy, whose leg might never heal properly. The others who had been forced to fight their Historias all carried shadows in their eyes that would take a long time to fade. Sabertooth and Blue Pegasus were decimated, and it would be a long time before any of them would be able to fight again.

_We’re Losing…_

“Natsu…?” The quiet voice interrupted his thoughts, and he turned to find Gray approaching him, and his expression darkened for a moment as he took in the bandages covering his mate, and the haunted look in the dark eyes that met his for a moment. He knew that the Ice mage had drawn pride from the fact that both he and Lyon had grown enough to defeat their Historia, but that didn’t mean that the meeting hadn’t brought old memories and pains to the surface and he silently opened his arms, unsurprised when Gray willingly stepped into his embrace. _I can’t lose this_ , he thought desperately as he wrapped his arms around his Mate, burying his face against Gray’s shoulder for a moment and letting the familiar scent of ice and pine trees wash over him, although it was currently underlain by the coppery tang of his mate’s blood. _I can’t lose him…_

“Gray,” he began hesitantly, unable to believe what he was about to do - what he was about to suggest, and he faltered, aware that he could lose Gray anyway when the truth came out. But at least he would be alive, and that was all he could bring himself to care about now, and he pulled back to meet Gray’s questioning gaze with his own. “Will you come with me? There’s something I need to tell you…”

“What…?”

“Not here,” Natsu insisted in alarm, aware that there was no way they wouldn’t be overheard despite the noise in the hall, and it was bad enough that he was going to tell Gray. The thought of the rest of the guild looking at him with fear or distrust, sending an icy shard of terror through him. _They can’t know. I don’t even want him to know, but_ …

   Gray took one look at his face and nodded silently in agreement, and he wondered just what his expression was showing at the moment, before deciding that he probably didn’t want to know. Trembling slightly, he held out his hand, trying desperately not to focus on the fact that this might well be the last time that Gray would take his hand so easily as the Ice mage gripped it. _Please. Please don’t hate me. Believe me, I hate me enough for both of us,_ he blinked back sudden moisture in his eyes at the thought of Gray hating him, knowing that he couldn’t afford to fall apart now.

_Please don’t hate me…_

**

   Neither of them had dared go too far from the guild, aware that the next attack could come at any moment and so they had taken shelter in what had once been Erza’s favourite bakery, although it was now missing the front wall, and the floor was strewn with rubble. It would need a lot of work before it could return to the warm, welcoming shop that they remembered, and for Natsu it was yet another reminder of what this war was costing them -what his existence was costing them. It hadn’t dawned on him at first, but once he’d had a moment to breathe and think about what Zeref had told him, he had been hit by the fact that everything that was happening, and that much of what they had faced in the past had been because of that man, because of his brother and what his brother had done to bring him back.

_We’re losing, and it’s all because of me…_

   Gray had been quiet on the journey here, sensing that the Dragon-slayer was trying to get his thoughts together, worried about the solemn expression he had seen on Natsu’s face back in the guild, and the fear and guilt that had been warring for control in his eyes when he had asked Gray to come with him. However, as he watched Natsu pacing anxiously backwards and forwards across the bakery, seemingly unable to bring himself to speak or even look at Gray, he found himself unable to remain silent any longer. He’d already nearly lost Natsu because the idiot had tried to deal with everything himself, and he desperately wanted to avoid that happening again.

“Natsu, what’s going on?” He asked softly, eyes narrowing in concern as Natsu jolted violently at the sound of his voice before turning wide, fearful eyes towards him. _Natsu…_ He couldn’t remember the Dragon-slayer ever looking like that before, but what was worse was the realisation that hit him a moment later as Natsu’s gaze skittered away from him once more. _He’s scared of me_. There was a pit forming in the bottom of his stomach as that thought sank in, and he wanted nothing more than to grab his mate and make that expression disappear, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t work this time. “Natsu…?”

“I…” He knew that it had to be done, that Gray needed to know the truth. That the plan forming in the back of his mind might be the only thing they had left that could change their situation around, but the words were sticking in his throat. _I’m scared. No, I’m terrified_. He had thought that he had known proper terror before; seeing Gray about to cast Iced Shell, facing Gildarts on Tenroujima, losing Future-Lucy and watching as Igneel fell from the sky above him, but all of that faded in comparison to the thought of Gray hating him. However, there was one thing that terrified him even more, and that was the thought of losing his mate, of losing Fairy Tail, and it was that which got his voice working once more. “I have something I need to tell you. Y-you’re not going to like it. Hell, you’re probably going to h-hate me when I tell you. But please. Let me finish before shouting or…” _Or trying to kill me,_ he added silently, remembering the dread that had hit him when he’d first recalled the promise that Gray had made to his own father, although at the time he had hoped that this moment would never come.

_But…we’re losing…_

   Gray gaped at him for a moment, unable to believe that Natsu would even think that it was possible for him to hate him. He’d never once hated Natsu, no matter how heated their rivalry had become at points and there was no way he could hate him now. However, there was no sign of humour in the olive eyes, and the pit in his stomach grew as he realised that the Fire mage was being deadly serious about this. _What the hell is that you’re hiding?_ He had known that there was something more going on, both Natsu and Happy had been acting weirdly since their encounter with Zeref, and now he wished that he had demanded answers earlier. Realising that Natsu was still waiting for a reply he sighed.

“I promise to hear you out,” he replied, and for a moment he contemplated leaving it at that, but the fear in Natsu’s eyes was too much for him to bear and his expression softened as he added. “But Natsu, I could never hate you. You do know that right?” _Please say you know that…_

“Wait until I’m finished,” Natsu replied softly, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away. _You won’t be able to say the same then…_

    Gray wanted to protest, but from the way Natsu’s expression had closed off he knew that the Dragon-slayer wasn’t going to hear the words, and so he bit them back, praying that when the time came, he would be able to convince the stubborn idiot of the truth. Instead, he settled stiffly back in the dusty chair he had claimed, watching with worried eyes as Natsu visibly hesitated, pacing for another couple of minutes before finally turned back to Gray.

“I…” He choked on the first word and closed his eyes in frustration. _Just say it, prolonging it isn’t going to serve any purpose and we don’t have the time._ Taking a deep breath and keeping his eyes shut so that he didn’t need to see Gray’s expression as his story unfolded, he forced himself to continue. “When I went after Zeref…I learnt a lot…About why he has always seemed so interested in me.” He heard Gray shift at that news, aware that the Ice mage had never liked the way the dark mage had looked at him or spoken to him during their past encounters. More than once the Ice mage had quizzed him about it, but until now he had never had the answers to give him. _But I do now_ …he thought and bitterly wished that he didn’t as he struggled to find the words for the next part. “He …I…His surname is Dragneel.” There was a sharp intake of breath at that, and this time he opened his eyes, taking in the stunned look on Gray’s face, and he knew that his next words were going to make it worse. “We’re b-brothers.”

_We’re brothers…_

    Natsu’s words hung heavy in the air between them, and Gray felt as though all the air had been forced out of his lungs _. Brothers?_ He scanned Natsu’s face, hoping to find that it was a lie or some kind of joke, but there was nothing but pained honesty in the other’s expression, and he closed his eyes briefly. He could remember all the times Natsu had cursed the Dark mage, promising to bring down his magic and stop him, and there was a dull ache in his chest as he had realised that he had heard Natsu say similar things since he had snuck out to fight Zeref _. You’re willing to fight him, even now?_ He knew that it shouldn’t really be a surprise, after all, it was a cardinal rule of their guild, that the guild came first regardless of family ties. _But still…_

   Slowly he opened his eyes, seeing the conflicted expression on Natsu’s face, and once again he was hit by a wave of denial. _Brothers, but…_ They couldn’t be more different if they tried. Natsu was fiercely protective of people’s lives and freedom, he was even willing to protect and fight alongside those that had been former enemies because he valued their lives just as much as everyone else, whereas Zeref seemed willing to eradicate anything in his path. _I don’t like it; I don’t want to think about it - but I would never hate him for this._ He could accept their relationship because he knew that Natsu hadn’t been lying when he promised to defeat Zeref, and he knew that the Dragon-slayer wasn’t going to change just because he learnt they were family, and he was sure that Natsu knew that alone wasn’t enough to make him hate him.

“There’s more isn’t there?”

“Yeah,” Natsu admitted softly, the fear reappearing in his eyes and Gray felt his earlier dread intensifying as the Dragon-slayer looked away once more. “I…apparently…I died.” Even now it felt odd thinking that technically he should be dead. To think that he should never have had all the adventures he had, had with Igneel and Fairy Tail, but worse, it now came with a silent wish that he had been allowed to just stay dead. He might have lost out on everything he had experienced since then, everyone he had met - everyone he had loved, but at least this war would never have happened. Gray would never have lost his family and home to Deliora. Erza and Jellal would never have experienced the Tower of Heaven. Ultear would still be alive. Lucy would still have Aquarius. _I was a mistake, and I should have stayed dead_. “Back before the Dragon-slayers were sent forward in time, there was an attack that destroyed our family, apart from him.” He had shared the news about the origin of the Dragon-slayer’s when he first got back, sensing that it might be important, he’d just omitted everything else until now.

“But…”

“He brought me back,” Natsu cut across Gray, beginning to tremble now that they were getting closer to the part that he dreaded the most, and his eyes were stinging fiercely as he fixated his gaze on the floor. _Please don’t hate me_ … “He learnt death magic just so that I could live again, and because of that, he created his demons. He created Tartaros…he created Deliora.” _I’m so sorry Gray_ , he thought as he caught the choked off noise from his mate, aware that those memories were far too close to the surface after what had happened with his Historia. However, he couldn’t let himself falter, and he continued shakily, his voice thick with fear and guilt. “And he created me. He created his strongest demon…Etherious Natsu Dragneel. E.N.D…. I…”

“No…” Gray had shot to his feet with a frantic shout, shaking his head desperately as he tried to deny the words that had just come out of Natsu’s mouth. “There’s no way…” _Please…_

“Gray…” Natsu whispered.

“You’re lying!”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like this!” Natsu’s voice rose, ragged with pain, as much as he didn’t want Gray to hate him, he needed him to accept the truth, and he forced himself not to flinch as their gazes met, fearful of the storm he could see building in his mate’s gaze. “I wouldn’t lie about this, and I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“But…but…” Gray was still shaking his head in denial, even as it began to dawn on him that in a horrible, mocking way it made sense. The way Zeref had always seemed so interested in Natsu and his hopes that the Dragon-slayer could surpass him. The fact that Natsu had seemed relatively unfazed by the curse power that Tartaros had used against them, and how easily he had shaken of Mard Geer’s mega attack, as Gray knew that he hadn’t had enough control of his new powers back then to have protected them both so easily.

“I told you that you would hate me.” Natsu whispered as he saw the comprehension replacing the denial on his mate’s face, tears on his cheeks as he waited for it. As he waited for Gray to confirm his fears, for the Ice mage to yell at him, maybe even going so far as to try and carry out his promise to Silver right now whilst he could, and he looked down once more. _I’m so sorry Gray, you loved the wrong person. You loved a monster…_

   He went completely stiff as he was suddenly swept into a bone-crushing hug, having missed Gray’s movement as he had been so lost in his self-recrimination and he lifted his head in shock as he found himself pulled against Gray’s chest.

“You idiot.” The Ice mage was whispering, trembling as he clung to Natsu and the Dragon-slayer had no idea what to make of the emotions in his mate’s voice. There was anger which he had been expecting, but there was none of the cold fury that he knew that Gray was capable of levelling at his enemies and no hate. _Gray, why do you sound like that?_ He had no idea what to do or think, and he just stood there, not able to return the hug as Gray added fiercely. “You stupid, bloody idiot!”

“I…”

“Natsu,” Gray pulled back, gripping the Dragon-slayer by the shoulder and waiting for Natsu to nervously meet his gaze before continuing. “I love you! You’re my mate! That hasn’t changed, and that will never change…” There were tears in his own eyes now as he stared at Natsu, desperately needing the Dragon-slayer to hear his words. He had envisioned coming face to face with E.N.D a thousand different ways, but the moment it had hit him that Natsu was telling the truth - that Natsu was the very demon that he had been looking for, all of those imaginings had vanished. There was a dull ache in his chest as the promise he had made his father echoed in his mind, but he knew that there was no way he could ever keep it now because this was Natsu. Natsu who had always been at his side and had been the centre of his world for the past couple of years. _I couldn’t hate him, and even if he does become a monster I can’t hate him_ …It stunned him to realise that he meant it, but he couldn’t regret it, and there was no hesitation at all as he met Natsu’s gaze. “I can’t hate you…”

   Natsu’s eyes welled up at Gray’s words, and he found himself blinking furiously as he searched his Mate’s eyes and expression for some trace of the horror and hatred that he had been expecting to see. However, there was nothing to be found but love and desperation, and yet he still didn’t dare let himself believe it, and his voice shook wildly as he tried to get the Ice mage to realise the reality of the situation -the reality of who, or rather what he was. _I don’t want you to hate me, but I need you to realise the truth…_

“Gray…I’m a monster. I…” He found himself being cut off by chilly lips slamming into his, and his eyes widened in shock _. What are you doing?_ He had dreaded Gray’s reaction from the moment that Zeref had told him the truth, but never once had he envisioned the Ice mage reacting like this and he might have tried to write it off as a dream, but there was no imagining the feelings that his Mate was trying to convey through the desperate kiss. _Gray, why?_

   It was Gray who pulled back first, and there were tears tracks on his cheeks as he gazed down at Natsu for a moment before bringing his forehead down to rest against the Dragon-slayer’s and his voice was thick with emotion.

“You’re not a monster.”

“But…” _I’m the reason for all of this.  I’m the reason you lost your family…_ He had watched Gray suffer through the memories and consequences of what had happened in his childhood, had offered warm arms to shelter him and gentle words, not knowing that he was the reason behind it all. Blinking back fresh tears he turned his gaze downwards, unable to bear staring into Gray’s eyes as guilt crashed into him once more.

_It’s my fault._

“Natsu!” Gray growled, realising that he was going to have to be more forceful with his words if he wanted to stand a chance of getting through to the stubborn idiot. “Look at me. LOOK AT ME!” He repeated sharply when Natsu didn’t immediately obey, and when the Fire mage still didn’t move fast enough for his liking, he reached out to gently grasp his chin, tilting Natsu’s head up so that he was staring into damp, olive eyes. He felt a pang of pity as he saw the pain in his Mate’s eyes, realising that Natsu who normally let everything roll of his back like water, had truly let the thought that he was a monster take hold. _You’re not supposed to look like that…_ He loosened his hold on Natsu’s chin, lifting his other hand up to gently wipe away some of the tears, and his voice was much softer as he continued. “There is nothing you can say that will make me agree that you’re a monster, and do you want to know why?”

“W-why?”

“Because of this,” Gray replied softly, making sure that Natsu was watching as he gently moved his hand down to rest above the Dragon-slayer’s heart and feeling it pounding beneath his fingertips. “You might be a Dragon-slayer. You might be a demon. You might be E.N.D. But this heart - this heart is completely human!” _Natsu you’re more human than most of_ us, he added silently as he thought back to the Devil magic coursing through his body, and to some of the actions that their allies and former enemies had done…

“I…”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that it isn’t,” Gray challenged him, gratified when Natsu couldn’t meet his gaze. _You’re not a monster._ Gently he tilted Natsu’s face upwards once more, relieved to see that some of the fear had eased, though he knew that it would take time and more than mere words to prove to the Dragon-slayer that he meant everything he had just said. The time they might not have, he admitted to himself. For now, though he contented himself with leaning forward and giving the Dragon-slayer a chaste kiss, smiling faintly as Natsu finally responded, although much more tentatively than he normally would. “You’re not a monster...”

    Natsu sniffled before burying his face against the Ice mage’s chest as he gave a weak nod. Deep down he wasn’t convinced, and he wondered if Gray would still be able to say that if - when he got to see his demonic side. Yet at the same time, relieved tears were dripping down his cheeks as Gray’s whispered echoed in his mind. _You’re not a monster_. Some of the darkness that had lain over his thoughts since his confrontation with Zeref easing, and he wrapped his arms around the Ice mage, feeling cool arms settling around him in return.

“Thank you…”

**

   Gray would have quite happily stayed like that all day, it felt like months since they’d had time to just cuddle and be by themselves, but he knew that this peace would be short-lived and that they needed to prepare for the next attack. _If we can prepare for it_. They were sure that Zeref was now the main opponent left on the field, but so far no one had been able to come up with a strategy that would take him out, and it was doubtful that he was going to give them much longer to try and hammer one out. _Zeref…Zeref Dragneel…_ He glanced down at the pink hair tickling the bottom of his cheek, wondering what Natsu was going to do when – if - they could defeat the dark wizard. He knew that there was no that Natsu would protect the man or prevent them from destroying him if they got the chance, but surely, he would feel something after all the man was the last proper family he had left.

“Natsu…?”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind,” Gray muttered, deciding that he would deal with that when the time came, not wanting to risk giving Natsu a chance to slip back into his previous mind-set. Instead, he pulled back slightly, offering the Dragon-slayer a small smile when he glanced up in protest. “We should get back, we need to work out what the guild’s going to do next,” he explained before stepping back, and moving towards the entrance only to halt as he realised that Natsu hadn’t made any effort to follow him, and he didn’t like the pensive expression that had appeared on the Fire mage’s face. “Natsu?”

“I have a plan or half a plan anyway…” Natsu muttered, knowing that his idea wasn’t going to go down well at all, and yet it was Gray’s words from a few minutes ago that made him even more confident that it was going to work. _Now I just need to convince Gray…_

“What is it?”

“I…” He hesitated for a moment, twisting his hands into the material of his scarf before forcing himself to continue. “I want to unleash it…my demonic side I mean. I want to become E.N.D.” There had been a growing chill in the air from the second he started to explain, and he was unsurprised when there was a pale flash as he finished, coating the ground in a fine layer of ice as Gray stormed back towards him.

“No,” Gray growled as he reached his mate, not caring that his magic was reacting to his anger, grabbing the Dragon-slayer tightly by the shoulders once more. “Are you out of your mind?” _You don’t want to be a monster, and then you suggest something like this?!_  The rational part of his mind could see that there might be some logic in the idea, but he forced that aside, appalled that he could even consider it and instead he refocused on Natsu who looked unsurprised by the reaction but fiercely determined as he met his glaring eyes.

“But…” Natsu whispered. _We’re losing, and we can’t lose because we’re too afraid to risk this_. He winced as he felt Gray’s fingers digging deeper into his shoulders, but he didn’t make any effort to escape. “It might be the only way.”

“I don’t care!”

“Gray!” Natsu found his voice rising as he realised that the Ice mage really wasn’t listening to him, but he forced himself to calm down before continuing, knowing that there was no way he would be able to convince his Mate if he was equally emotional. “We have to try. S-surely, it’s better to risk one person rather than the entire guild? Rather than Magnolia? Or Fiore?” _Surely, it’s better to risk a monster, than all those innocent lives…_

“You don’t have to face everything alone!” Gray retorted with a hint of desperation, recalling the terror that had gripped him when Natsu had gone off to face Zeref on his own. The Dragon-slayer had barely made it back that time, and yet now he was proposing to do something similar, but worse – because he was willing to risk his humanity for something that might not even work _. I won’t let you_. He didn’t care if it was selfish, he didn’t want it to be Natsu who was sacrificing everything. “We’re partners, aren’t we? Mates? Why won’t you depend on me a little more?” They had made a formidable team against Mard Greer, why couldn’t they do the same now? _Because Zeref is a whole different matter_ , his traitorous mind reminded him.

“I do!” Natsu protested in alarm, hurt that Gray could ever think that he didn’t, and he raised his hands to gently grip the ones holding on to him. “That’s why I trust you to stop me if I do lose control!” He had decided almost the moment that he had accepted the fact that he really was E.N.D that if he did have to die because of that, he wanted it to be at Gray’s hands. At least then he could at least make sure that the Ice mage could keep his promise to his father.

“Natsu…” Gray breathed, eyes misting up at the sheer faith in the Dragon-slayer’s face, even as he vehemently wanted to protest the idea of using his magic against Natsu. _I can’t fight him, not like that._ Yet, somehow as he stared into warm olive he knew that he would, if that was the only choice left to them, he would strike Natsu down if that was what the Fire mage wanted. _Please don’t make me, don’t give me that choice._

“I know I might not be able to control it,” Natsu admitted, shivering at the mere thought of it. It had been bad enough during the Daphne incident when he hadn’t been able to control himself, and he knew that it could be a thousand times worse than that. “That there might not be a way back.” He hesitated for a moment, he hadn’t told Gray what would happen when Zeref died, and he faltered, knowing that he should- but what would it accomplish? It would be a chain on their actions, and they couldn’t afford that at this stage. “But Gray…”

“I know,” Gray cut him off with a soft sigh, closing his eyes as he finished softly. “We have to try. Putting everything on the line.” He hated the thought of it. He hated the fact that the situation left them with very little choice, and he hated how willing the Dragon-slayer was to risk everything just on the hope that it would work. But what choice did they have?

“Yeah.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Gray whispered desperately, jumping as warm fingers brushed across his cheeks and his eyes shot open to find Natsu staring at him with sad eyes.

“I know,” the Fire mage whispered softly, and somehow seeing the same fear reflected in Natsu’s eyes was reassuring. At least it meant that Natsu wasn’t just rushing into this without thought for once, although in a way that made it worse. Normally Natsu acted without thinking and muddled through, yet this time he was planning on deliberately risking himself, and Gray knew that it had ridiculously high possibility of going completely awry. “But you said it yourself,” Natsu’s voice was wistful now, and Gray watched with stunned eyes as the Fire mage lifted a hand to lay over his own heart, right where Gray had laid his hand a short while before. “This heart is human.”

“Natsu…”

“I’m not sure that I’m not a monster,” Natsu admitted softly, ignoring the despairing look that met those words, and instead managing a weak quirk of his lips as he continued. “But you reminded me that I am different from the demons we’ve faced before. Igneel told me that he believed I could defeat E.N.D. and I don’t think he would have said that if he didn’t believe it - but I think you’re the one who worked out how I could.”

“Your heart…”

“I was raised as a human,” Natsu replied with a small nod. “No matter what I become, I don’t think it could wash away everything that I’ve experienced. My time with Igneel. My time with Fairy Tail, and more importantly my time with you…” His eyes stung fiercely as he met Gray’s gaze, the thought that he might not. No, that he wouldn’t get more time with his mate even if things worked out how he wanted them to and he faltered for a moment. “That’s what’s given me this heart, and that’s what gives me the hope that I can beat the demon in me…”

    Gray was silent for several minutes. He hadn’t missed the way that Natsu had faltered, and he could shake an uneasy feeling that the Dragon-slayer hadn’t told him everything. The part of him that had grown up with Natsu, who had fallen in love with the idiot and who had been perfectly willing to accept the fact that he couldn’t keep his promise to his father wanted to scream ‘No’. To refuse to agree to this mad scheme and place his hopes in the fact that the rest of the Guild would be able to come up with an alternative solution. Yet the rational part of him could see the logic in the plan, and even a part of him wanted to do it because he loved Natsu, and it only took one look at the Dragon-slayer to see that he was dead serious about this. _That’s what scares me -just how far is he willing to go?_

“Gray…?”

“I don’t like this. No, I hate this,” He amended with more than a hint of bitterness, and before Natsu could react, he had drawn the Fire mage into another hug, needing the reassurance that for now at least he was safely at his side. “I don’t want it to be on your shoulders! I don’t want you to have risk not just your life, but everything…But…”

“But?”

“You’re right,” Gray whispered, and there was a dull pang as the words hung in the air for a moment. _I hate it, but you’re right and we don’t have anything else that we can try._ “I…” He hesitated for a moment as he recalled the sheer amount of faith in Natsu’s words and expression earlier, and there was a sharp pain in his chest as he forced himself to continue. “If it comes to it. I-if it does go wrong, I will stop you with my own two hands.” _Please don’t let it come to that…_

“Gray…” Natsu could hear the pain in his mate’s voice and feel the Ice mage’s heart pounding beneath him, and he knew just how much it must’ve cost the Ice mage to say that. “Thank you…”

“Just make sure that it doesn’t come to that!”

“Yeah…”

_I hope that it doesn’t, even though that still won’t give us the ending that you want…_

****

Three hours later:

   Natsu felt himself trembling as he stood completely exposed in front of the partially ruined Guild building, struggling not to react to the dozens of eyes he could feel burning into him from all directions. It had been both easier, and worse to tell the rest of the guild and their allies exactly what was going on and what his plan was. Fairy Tail, for the most part, had rallied around him, unable to forget that he was part of their family, although he had caught more than one sharp word for not telling them sooner…but such harsh words had been accompanied by visible worry, and once again he had found himself bemused by the reaction. _I’m a monster_ , the thought had quietened a little under the influence of Gray’s words, but it was still there, and he kept expecting someone to scram those very words at him. Even those who were less certain about him now, which was mainly allied mages who had been dragged into this mess because they were trying to help Fairy Tail, hadn’t flung that in his face and despite their uncertainty they had agreed to his plan - his crazy plan…

    Shifting slightly, he glanced across at where Lucy and Gray were stood partly concealed in the shadows. They were both pivotal to the plan, but right now they seemed to be more focused on him, and he shot them what he intended to be a reassuring smile, but from the expression that met his efforts had come out as little more than a grimace. It had been a lot easier to talk about unleashing E.N.D than it was to stand here waiting for it to happen, but he had no intention of backing down, especially as he was now the only thing standing between them and the approaching Zeref. The guild had tried to come up with another plan, but he had known it wasn’t going to happen, even before Jet had come dashing in a short while before to say that Zeref was approaching.

   _Zeref._ There was a sick feeling in his stomach as his thoughts turned to his brother. It still felt foreign to think of him like that, but there was no way for him to escape that thought. Family had meant everything to him, or rather it still did, but for him, that meant Gray and the rest of Fairy Tail, not the dark wizard he would soon be facing. Yet at the same time, there was a hint of grief at the thought that he was about to willingly destroy what family he had left. _I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you did all this just to bring me back, but this isn’t what I wanted, and I have to make it right, for both of us._ He hadn’t dared share those thoughts with Gray as he knew that the Ice mage would never let him go through with it if he did.

   He was just about to shift his attention back to the Ice mage when a familiar smell tickled his nose, and he tensed, immediately dropping into a battle-ready stance knowing that would be enough to warn the others that time was up. The rest of the guild and their allies, or rather those still able to fight and those who were too stubborn to admit that they couldn’t were spread around, but they weren’t to interfere unless everything went south. They hadn’t been happy about it, but Natsu and Gray had convinced them that they needed to have a back-up plan of some sorts. Although for the Fire mage it had been more important to keep them out of the firing line - both Zeref’s and his, because no matter how much faith he wanted to put in Igneel’s belief and Gray’s words, now that the time had come he was terrified about what he was letting himself in for. _I can’t hurt them…_

“Natsu,” the soft voice made him jump, and he cursed as he realised that Zeref was in front of him, studying him with seemingly soft eyes, although there was a smirk was playing around his lips. However, what caught Natsu’s attention was the book in his arms. They had been gambling on the fact that he was going to keep it close, even though it seemed he had lost hope in Natsu being the one to defeat him, and he struggled to keep his expression even as he stared at it, slowly shifting his attention back to its owner as Zeref continued. “I thought you would have learnt that you can’t stand against me,” the older mage tapped his fingers meaningfully against the book in his arms, and Natsu snarled at the taunt, although he hadn’t missed the fact that the older man hadn’t come right out and said who or what Natsu was. _Does he really think I would have kept it secret?_

“I’m a slow learner,” Natsu retorted.

“Yes, you always were.” There was a hint of nostalgia in the taunting reply, and Natsu faltered for a split second, his earlier thoughts about who he was fighting surging to the front. _Zeref_ …But he quickly shoved it aside, burying it along with the awareness that no matter how this fight went, it wasn’t going to end well for him at least and he had to fight the urge to glance across at Gray. _I’m sorry Gray…_

“Damn you! Roar of the Fire Dragon!” He knew that the attack wouldn’t even faze Zeref, but it didn’t have to, it was just to give him the chance to shout to his best friend. “Lucy! NOW!” Trusting that she and her spirits would be able to do what needed to be done he charged, drawing every ounce of magic he had to the surface as he knew that Zeref wouldn’t be playing games this time, not with his end goal in sight and not now that he knew that Natsu in his current form couldn’t defeat him.

“Gate of the Maiden, I open thee! Virgo!”

    He couldn’t check to see what was happening, his world narrowing down to his own flames and Zeref’s dark magic as he focused on driving the older man away from his mate, and towards the centre of the street. Pain lanced though his side, and he dropped to his knees, gasping for a moment and his eyes widened as he looked up to see Zeref had gouged a deep gash into the book of E.N.D. He didn’t bother with words, panting as he pushed the pain aside and surged to his feet and charged once more. _Get him into place…Get him into place…_ The thought was on repeat in his mind, and the pain was momentarily forgotten as he pressed onwards.

“Iron Fist of the Fire Dragon!” He roared, breaking through Zeref’s guard unexpectedly as it appeared his brother had thought the pain would’ve slowed him slightly, and he drew some satisfaction from the sight of the older mage stumbling backwards with a soft grunt. However, that wasn’t what he was aiming for…his lips quirked into a hint of his normal grin as runes suddenly filled the air around the older man, forming a cage around him as Zeref stilled for a moment. “Trap activated,” Natsu said triumphantly, knowing that the cage wouldn’t last for long, but it didn’t need to. All they needed was one chance.

   That thought had barely crossed his mind when Virgo appeared, Freed’s runes letting her pass with ease as she shot upwards from the ground. However, Zeref neatly side-stepped as she grabbed for the book, his magic flaring and Natsu winced as he heard her crying out in pain seconds before she disappeared back to her own world. _I’m sorry_. They were both caught by surprise as Loke appeared behind Zeref, and Natsu wondered when Lucy had summoned him as he hadn’t heard her call his name. The Lion made no effort to get to the book, and Natsu blinked - he had told Lucy that they needed the book and she had said that she would take care of it, and now he was beginning to regret not asking for more details. Just as Loke was forced back there was a blur of movement, and Natsu barely had a chance to glimpse Gemini shooting off with the book held between them before Zeref’s magic exploded around him. The cage disappeared in an instant and Natsu was vaguely aware of Loke disappearing with a shout before he was being swept across the ground, the impact sending fresh pain through every inch of his body, and he couldn’t hold back a groan as he skidded to a halt.

 _Third times the charm_.

    Natsu thought dizzily as he forced himself back to his feet, torn between keeping his eyes on Zeref whose eyes had taken on a crimson glow as his gaze followed the stolen book and Gemini as the twins dropped the book into Gray’s hands, and he waited with baited breath for Gray to open it, only to panic as he caught the uncertainty on his mate’s face. _No, you can’t change your mind now…please…_

“OPEN IT GRAY!” Natsu roared as he saw the Ice mage faltering, crying out as he was flung across the road in his moment of distraction. He didn’t have the chance to see if Gray had heeded his words as for a moment the world around him went black as Zeref’s magic swept over him, however, a moment later he found himself crashing back to the floor as fire raced through every inch of his body. However, this wasn’t the soothing warmth of Igneel’s flames, but a sickening, hungry blaze that wanted to devour everything in its path. Including him he realised a split second later, unable to hold back an agonised cry as he writhed on the floor and for the first time since he had concocted this plan he was flooded with absolute terror.

_How am I supposed to control this fire?_

**

_“OPEN IT GRAY!”_

   Natsu’s frantic shout had broken though the fear that had immobilised him, and even though he wanted to do anything but, Gray forced himself to open the book. At once he was forced to drop it as flames rushed from it, and Lucy quickly yanked him to safety, only for them both to freeze as Natsu screamed. They had lost sight of him briefly under the cover of Zeref’s magic, but the darkness was receding now as Zeref paused to take in the scene unfolding in front of him, and they almost wished that it hadn’t when their eyes landed on the Dragon-slayer.

     Natsu was writhing on the ground, his expression contorted with pain as his skin slowly gave away to rust-coloured scales. Salmon-pink hair was slowly being stained crimson as curved horns forced their way out of his skin, blood trickling from their base. There was a horrible sound of tearing flesh and cloth, and Natsu’s cries turned to shrieks as he flung himself onto his front, and Gray struggled not to throw up as he watched as wings slowly protruded from the Dragon-slayer’s back. They reminded him somewhat of Igneel, but there was no comfort to be drawn from the familiarity, as Natsu was weeping and crying, the ground around him turning red with his own blood. _It wasn’t supposed to be like this…_

“Natsu…” Lucy whispered. She’d known that it would be bad, there was no way it could be anything but bad when Zeref was involved, but somehow, she had managed to convince herself that it wasn’t going to be this horrific and there were tears trickling down her cheeks. _Natsu…_

   Gray spared her the briefest glance before his attention shifted back to Natsu as his mate went completely still, wings spread limply beside him, and terror gripped his heart at the sight. _Was the transformation too much? He was already hurt, what if it was too much? Natsu…_ He had taken a half step forward even though he had promised to stay put unless he had to stop Natsu when a feral growl rang through the street and he froze, eyes widening as Natsu slowly pushed himself up to his feet. The Dragon-slayer - no, the demon staggered as he made it upright, and it was clear that he was still reeling from the transformation, but somehow, he managed to turn to look at them, and Gray felt as though all the air had been forced out of his body. He could accept the scales, the horns, the wings - but the eyes…Natsu’s lovely warm olive had disappeared, replaced with cold amber eyes that showed none of the Fire mage’s heart and he found himself taking an instinctive step back. _This isn’t Natsu, this is E.N.D._

    Unfortunately, his movement caught Natsu’s attention, and with a vicious snarl, the demon charged towards him, no sign of his previous pain to be seen as he moved at a speed that Gray could never hope to match. Thankfully he didn’t need to. Freed had been busy in the short time he had, and Natsu was brought up short as he slammed into a wall of runes that appeared between them, although the barrier shuddered under the impact and flickered as he flung himself against it, his growls descending into furious shrieks as he tried to break through it.

“Natsu! Natsu get a hold of yourself!” Gray shouted, praying that the barrier would hold out long enough for him to get through to the Dragon-slayer, and forcing himself to meet the amber eyes as he searched for any sign of his mate. “It’s me! It’s Gray, and I know you can beat this! Remember your heart! Remember that you’re human!”

   Each word was met by an even more piercing shriek, and his words died on his tongue as he caught the hatred in the eyes now locked on his, and he flinched back as angry, crimson flames engulfed the demon as he flung himself against the barriers with increased determination. _Natsu…_

“It would appear that your plan has failed,” Zeref’s voice rang out, and the Ice mage turned to glare angrily at him as he caught the triumph in his voice, his blood running cold at the proud expression on the man’s face as he looked towards Natsu who had backed up and was now beginning to fling flames at the barrier. “E.N.D - my strongest and yet least controllable demon. Is this what you chose to place your hopes in?”

“You…” Gray snarled. _No, we placed out hopes in Natsu…our Natsu…my Natsu!_

“Gray!” Lucy’s shouted, and he managed to jump back just as the barrier gave away beneath Natsu’s onslaught and he was forced to fling himself to the side as flames rent the air where he had been only seconds before. He had to conjure up a shield in the next instance as Natsu wasn’t giving him a chance to recover, and he flinched as the ice shattered and claws caught his cheek, he could feel blood trickling down, and he looked hopefully for even a glimmer of Natsu, but there was nothing but anger, and he closed his eyes as he waited for the demon to strike again. _Sorry, Natsu it doesn’t look like I will be able to keep my promise…_

   However, a moment later the weight that had been resting on him disappeared, and his eyes flew open just in time to see Natsu being flung backwards, and it took a moment for him to spy Lucy’s Fleuve d’etoiles around the Dragon-slayer’s ankle. Natsu snarled as he hit the ground hard, and Gray twisted his head to see that Lucy was reaching for her keys and ignoring the pain in his face he surged back to his feet with a frantic shout.

“WAIT!” Catching her confused look, he hastily explained, keeping an eye on Natsu who was already back on his feet, although he seemed to be a little bit more hesitant now. “I promised,” he whispered, his voice shaking as he met amber eyes once more, his hands curling into fists at his side. “I promised that I would stop him with my own two hands…”

“But…”

“It’s okay…” He cut across her protest, even though it felt like everything was shattering as he took a shaky step towards Natsu who had come to a halt a short distance away. _Natsu, I’m so sorry_. He was trembling as he lifted his hands, reaching for his Devil slaying magic and trying to ignore Zeref who was watching the scene with a smug expression. “Natsu…” Ice was forming around him as he tried to summon up the courage to do the next step, and his bow was just beginning to take form when he realised that Natsu had frozen and was now standing there staring at him with a conflicted expression and his movements faltered. “Natsu…?”

   Natsu remained frozen in place for several minutes, and it took Gray a moment to realise that the amber in the Dragon-slayer’s eyes was beginning to flicker. _Natsu_ …Gray took a half step forward, hope and pride blossoming in his chest as he realised that Natsu was beginning to fight back, but he halted as a low growl escaped the Dragon-slayer. However, this one sound more like a warning than a threat, and he blinked as for a moment he found himself staring into warm olive eyes.

“Natsu…”

    It only lasted a moment, and then the amber reappeared, and Gray tensed in alarm. However, Natsu didn’t attack. Instead he reeled backwards with an anguished noise, dropping down to his knees and scrabbling at the ground. Crimson flames spread around him as he tossed his head backwards and forwards, and Gray hated the fact that there was nothing he could do but stand and watch and pray. _Please, Natsu - you have to beat this. You have to win!_

“Gr…ay…” The broken whisper made him tense, hope engulfing him as the Dragon-slayer slowly his head to look at him and this time there was no trace of the amber to be seen. The Ice mage felt tears on his cheeks as he managed to force a shaky smile as Natsu looked searchingly at him, and his voice was warm.

“Welcome back…”

“Stay back…I’m going to finish this,” Natsu’s voice was little more than a guttural growl as he forced himself back to his feet, staggering as pain flashed across his face. But the olive eyes that met his for the briefest moment were filled with the same determination he had shown that morning, and Gray nodded silently in agreement as he stepped back.

_You did it. You won against E.N.D…_

**

_That was too close…_

   There was a hollow pain in his chest as he realised just how close he had come to really hurting his mate, even now he could smell Gray’s blood in the air, only now it made him nauseous. _I could have killed him._ It had been terrifying as he had been fully aware of what was going on, but he had been completely unable to control his own movements. In the end it had been the fact that Gray was going to keep his promise despite the pain that had been visible in his eyes that had given him the strength to drive the demon back, but he wasn’t sure how long he could hold it at bay, even now he could hear it howling in the back of his mind and clawing at him in an attempt to break free. His efforts to hold it back weren’t helped by the physical pain that was assailing every part of his body. He hadn’t expected the transformation to be so bad, and he prayed that it wasn’t going to slow him down too much.

    Glancing at Gray one last time and drawing strength from the love and pride that he could see in the dark eyes that met his. _You still don’t see me as a monster? Even like this?_ He felt like a monster, more than he had before, but he didn’t falter as he turned towards Zeref. There was surprise in the older man’s eyes as their gazes met, and his lips drew back in a snarl. _I will never belong to you - this heart already belongs to someone else._

“Natsu…” Zeref began, but Natsu no longer had any interest in hearing what the man had to say. Flexing his wings experimentally and hiding a wince at the pain that flashed through his back he took to the air, flames spreading across every inch of his skin. _You have no right to talk to me, and no right to expect anything from me_ , he thought bitterly as he met his brother’s gaze without hesitation, ignoring the howling that was increasing in strength at the back of his mind. _Just a few minutes longer. Let me stay in control just a little longer then it won’t matter anymore…_

   Snarling he slammed into Zeref, his flames blasting a path through the wall of darkness that had risen in his path as though it was little more than tissue paper. _So, this is the power of a demon?_ He had spent years trying to get stronger, to become S-Class, to be able to beat Erza and Gildarts but he didn’t want this power. He had never wanted power like this. _But, it is this power that will let me protect everyone!_ Pushing through his revulsion towards his own magic, he shifted his attention back to Zeref, and for the first time he saw a hint of fear in the dark eyes _. I’m sorry…_

   Zeref’s magic slammed into him a moment later, stronger than before and he felt himself being pushed back and his eyes widened in alarm. He knew that if he was pushed back now, he wouldn’t get another chance, and risking a brief glance back at Gray he gritted his teeth, allowing a little of the demon at the back of his mind to slip to the front. At once his flames surged to new heights, and he knew that it had to be now. Hardening his heart, he forced himself forwards, wings beating furiously as he pushed through the dark magic, the world turning crimson around him.

“DIE!” He screamed, hating himself for it, but knowing that there was no other choice and he closed his eyes as everything was consumed by his flames. There were tears on his cheeks as he heard Zeref crying out as the flames swept over him. Flames far hotter and more destructive than those Igneel had left him, and he was vaguely aware of the others crying out in alarm as his control began to slip. _No! I can’t become a monster now. I can’t hurt them, not now…please not now…._ Desperately he yanked his eyes open once more and reeled backwards, feeling his control over himself beginning to flicker as the demon howled defiantly at him, and he was vaguely aware of blood beginning to trickle from his nose as he struggled to reign in both the flames and the demon. _I won’t lose now…_

    By the time they had both receded he was trembling with exhaustion, and it was nothing more than stubbornness that kept him on his feet, his vision blurring slightly as he sought out his opponent. There was no triumph when he found Zeref sprawled in the centre of a scorched crater that covered the entire street. Instead, there was an oddly hollow feeling in his chest as he stared at the older man. Even from here he could tell that these were wounds that not even Zeref could survive, and he closed his eyes for a moment. _I did this to my own brother_ , numbly he forced himself to move, wings hanging limp and trailing against the ground as he stumbled into the crater. _I did this_ … Zeref’s eyes were closed when he reached his side, but slowly they inched open, and Natsu struggled not to flinch back as dark eyes slowly drifted to his face. _I did this…_

“Well done…” There was nothing but calm acceptance on Zeref’s face, and Natsu wanted to snarl at him, flames flickering around his hands as he stared down at the older man. _How can you look like that?_ There was no remorse or disappointment if anything he looked proud as he gazed up at Natsu and there was a small smile on his lips as he added softly. “Little brother…”

“Don’t…” Natsu began to growl only to trail off as Zeref’s eyes drifted shut, and even before his gaze shifted to the older man’s chest, he knew that they wouldn’t be opening again and slowly the numbness began to give way to a complicated mixture of grief and relief.

_I did this…_

**

   Gray was moving the moment he realised that Zeref was gone. He was shaken by the power that he had just been witness to, even though he had known that E.N.D was powerful it had been different to see that power in action, and even though this was Natsu he had been terrified. Terrified that he might lose Natsu either to Zeref or the power now flooding his body, but also terrified of the Dragon-slayer himself, and it was guilt that lent him speed as he dashed towards Natsu as the Dragon-slayer’s legs gave way beneath him.

“Natsu…” With a desperate burst of speed, he managed to reach his mate just in time to catch Natsu, struggling not to recoil from the feel of rough scales against his skin. _Natsu_ …Gently he lowered them both to the ground, his stomach rolling as he realised that Natsu’s blood from his transformation was rubbing off on his clothes and skin, but he managed to keep his expression even as the Dragon-slayer blinked wearily up at him. He looked so human even though he was still stuck in his demon form, and Gray felt his lips twitch up slightly before he lent forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Natsu’s lips, making sure not to look away from warm, olive eyes. _Human eyes..._ “You did it…you really did it.”

“For you…”

“Natsu…” Gray trailed off, eyes widening in alarm as he realised that Natsu’s left hand was beginning to fade, golden sparks rising from his skin. “What…?” Sudden fear pooled in his stomach as he heard Lucy gasp from behind him, and he glanced up to see that she was standing over the book of E.N.D that he had abandoned in his hurry to get to Natsu and he paled as he realised that the book was also slowly disappearing into golden sparks.

“Guess it wasn’t a lie…” Natsu’s weak voice drew his attention back to the Dragon-slayer, and he turned cold as he saw the accepting look in the olive eyes which were now fixated on his disappearing hand.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m made of his magic,” Natsu explained softly, slowly turning his gaze to Gray and seeing the moment that comprehension dawned in the dark eyes. “I…”

“No…”

“Gray…”

“No, don’t you dare say it!” Gray cut across him, a hysterical edge entering his voice as he realised that more and more of Natsu was beginning to fade from his sight, and anger seeped through as he realised that Natsu really had known that this was going to happen -that he had deliberately hidden it from him. “You bastard! Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you…?” _Because you knew that I would stop you, and we would have lost_. At that moment he didn’t care, with fear and anger competing for dominance he would quite happily have accepted them all facing defeat, because anything would have been better than the realisation that Natsu really had given everything for them.

“Gray…”

“DON’T!” His voice cracked, and he flung himself forward, burying his face against the Dragon-slayer’s chest as he tightened his arms around Natsu. _This can’t be happening_. He flinched as he felt a warm hand come to rest in his hair, gently stroking for a moment before moving to nudge his shoulder and despite his anger and pain, he couldn’t ignore the silent request, slowly lifting his head to meat Natsu’s gaze.

“Please…” Natsu’s voice faltered, pain passing over his face for a moment and Gray blinked as he realised that the scales were beginning to fade away as well. However, before he could comment on that fact, Natsu had taken a deep breath and continued, his voice trembling slightly as more and more of his body shifted towards translucence. “Finish it…”

“What?”

“I want it to be y-you,” Natsu managed to say, staring pleadingly up at his mate, although there was a dull ache in his chest as he took in the pain on Gray’s face. _I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry I’m being selfish again_ , shakily he lifted his right hand, noticing that it was nearly gone as well, and gently brushing his fingers against the Ice mage’s cheek. “I don’t want to d-die because of him.”

“But…” It had been one thing to promise that he would finish E.N.D with his own two hands if Natsu lost control, but this was Natsu -his Natsu, his features slowly returning to normal even as he slipped away, and Gray could only shake his head desperately as tears slipped down his cheeks. _Natsu, please don’t ask this of me…_

“Please…”

    He had never heard Natsu sound so desperate before, and despite himself, he met the Dragon-slayer’s gaze, a hiccupping sob slipping free as he realised that Natsu really wanted this. There was no hint of uncertainty or fear in the olive eyes, just desperate pleading and the Ice mage swallowed hard. As much as he hated to admit it, he could understand why Natsu wanted to rob Zeref of this victory. _But can I do it? This is Natsu, not a demon…not a monster._

“Gray…please…” Natsu was desperate now, aware that he only had a couple of minutes before he faded away completely before he fell to Zeref’s hand. “Please…”

   He couldn’t deny him, not now. Not after everything Natsu had done, and after what he had sacrificed just so that they could live, no matter how much he wanted to. Sobs were wracking his body even as he gathered Natsu against his chest, struggling as his hands met empty air in places, but eventually, Natsu’s head was resting against his chest. With trembling hands, he formed a small dagger of ice, nothing more was needed at this stage, and he saw the relief in Natsu’s eyes as his mate shifted his gaze to the blade for a moment and he felt his heart beginning to shatter in his chest. _Which of us is really the monster?_ He hesitated, wanting nothing more than to throw the dagger away, but he knew that was no longer a choice. _Natsu…_

   He could barely see past his tears, but he didn’t need to for this. Cradling Natsu close, he leant down and captured strangely chilly lips in a tender kiss, his heart breaking anew as he felt how weakly the Dragon-slayer was able to respond.

“I love you,” he whispered as he pulled back, not looking away from Natsu as he raised the dagger, ignoring the frantic cries he could hear behind him as the others realised what he was about to do. All he cared about now was the glimmer of contentment as Natsu smiled up at him, offering his consent and forgiveness for what he about to do.

   His aim was true; it couldn’t be anything else at that distance and Natsu jerked from the blow, pain clouding his expression for a moment before he manged to smile once more, lifting his hand to rest it on Gray’s were it was still clinging to the hilt.

“Thank you…” Natsu managed to whisper, eyes slipping shut a second later and Gray sat there frozen as the breath caught in the Dragon-slayer’s throat, his chest growing still. He was just trying to force himself to release the hilt when there was a flare of golden light, and all traces of the Dragon-slayer’s weight disappeared from his arms, the ice blade shattering as it hit the ground in front of him.

   Gold sparks filled the air around him, and for a moment they seemed to crowd around him, and he could have sworn that he heard Natsu’s voice in his ear. “I love you, thank you…” The sparks brushed his skin, gentle pinpricks of heat that brought with it with memories of warm olive eyes, bright grins and a heart that far too fleetingly had belonged to him. A howl of misery rose in his throat as he desperately tried to grab at the sparks, but they slipped easily between his fingers, fading away in front of his of his eyes and he fell forwards onto hands and knees as he was wracked by heart-broken sobs _. Why was he thanking him?_ They were the ones who owed him thanks, they had only won because of him - but what kind of victory was this?

_Natsu…you idiot._

_Thank you…_


End file.
